Good, bad, ugly twitter bios

If your twitter bio looks like this and you follow me, I will not be following you back and may even block or report you for spam, depending on whether other aspects of your account fail in my twitter flowchart:

“We are an online pharmacy that provides a comprehensive range of prescription and non-prescription medications.”

“follow on instagram..themost20 FOLLOW I FOLLOW BACK :P”

“I’m cute that’s all for now, chat with me live on BBM, here is my pin:3275765”

“We help you build a community around your brand.”


“Mankind was altered by visitors. The governments know it too.”

“My Name’s Kuba ? I’m 17 years old. I live in Poland. #LittleMonster ???? * Follow me, I’ll follow back !”

“learn to know the elemen of nature, how the human act with it”

“I’m a cute,vocally sound,well learned(especially medically),friendly,God-fearing cooldude.Check me out/follow me and you’ld see.”

“A quick and easy tool to get your App in the press.”

“Rihanna Fanpage, Please Follow And I’ll Follow Back! ‘Unapologetic’ In Stores Now!!”

“I am who I am^I like what I like^ I love what I love^ I do what I want^Get off my back and deal with it It’s my life Not urs#Teamtyga #TEAM.Coke #teamfollowback”

You get the idea. These are actual bios of recent new followers, but any that resemble such nonsense or contain some of those warning signs (shoddy spelling/grammar, mentioning popstars/gods/smut/marketing usually get the same treatment.

By contrast, if your bio is of this sort, I will almost certainly follow you back:

“Writing a psychological thriller & studying MA Creative Writing. Music-lover and psychologist who lurks in suburbs, slurping coffee & walking on the downs.”

“Science communicator, teacher, maker. Lover of wild and lonely places.”

“Guerrilla scientist, secret historian, indecipherable writer, wild-eyed teacher and incessant communicator. Past lives: biomedical and neuroscience.”

“Historian of science, manuscript editor, amateur mycologist. Working on a new edition of the diary of Robert Hooke”

Author: David Bradley

Freelance science journalist, author of Deceived Wisdom. Photographer and musician.