Top 10 Facebook updates to make me unfollow you

I seem to have accrued a fairly large number of “friends” on Facebook over the years. Many of them are, of course, actual friends, family members, business contacts, acquaintances, fellow musicians and photographers and a few bands, many others are just people who asked to be my friend and are either trolls, spammers, bots, or saddos.

Over the years I’ve unfriended nobody, but I had “unfollowed” a few people to cut down on the speed at which my timeline passes. I say, a few, in fact, of the 1026 friends, I’d “unfollowed”, but not unfriended, 623 of them…my timeline was still very busy, so as a little experiment I decided to remove the gaffa tape from those I unfollowed so that my timeline might overfloweth once more.

And it did. The deluge was overwhelming. People share so much, too much, TMI!

And, once again, I am gradually unfollowing people, they’re still friends but I’m giving them a virtual “talk to the hand cos the face ain’t listening” from the comfort of my laptop, without them actually ever seeing the hand! I still reserve the right to not unfollow you but here’s a rought guide Top 10 of things that might just get me reneging on that right, multiple combinations may see me unfriend you too:

1 You post something from the Daily Fail

2 You post a quiz

3 You post a graphorism – an inspirational aphorism with a lovely photo

4 You post a video that was shot in portrait not landscape

5 You post any antivax, climate denialist, creationist, astrological, homeopathic propaganda

6 You post anything obviously faked/photoshopped without at least checking Snopes first

7 You refer to anything other than Nazis as Nazis, as in for example calling someone a “Grammar Nazi”

8 You post a faked handwritten London Underground sign, text message exchange, church noticeboard or other (see #6)

9 You post blurred or badly lit photos of your half-eaten meal, or indeed any blurred photos meal or not or even pin-sharp, beautifully lit photos of your meal

10 You post a recipe for narrowing one’s perspective on the outside world…ah.


11 You post a picture of a pet in a “costume”

12 Actually, this a rather serious unfriending one, not just an unfollow and it’s already been implemented today for someone I know stupidly posting something from a US right wing blog. Seriously, if you post fascist propaganda I will unfriend you here and in “real life” too…